As a pastor I have the ultimate social buzz-kill profession. Don’t believe me? Well, what are the two things you should never talk about at a cocktail party? Politics and Religion. Contrary to this thought, though, is our new generation of “politics are cool”, politics often pop up in conversations. In fact, there are cocktail parties designed just for political discussion. God, however, is never the theme of cocktail parties and is the subject that people often shy away from and the conversation completely dies out. Inevitably this happens about the time that someone, unknowingly, asks a pastor what they do for a living. Everyone, in the conversation, immediately acts awkward and cleans up their speech, as if the pastor is wearing a “bug” for God. It tends to make those in this profession very lonely and isolated. This is something that I have known as a PK (Pastor’s Kid) and now as a pastor myself. Before being ordained as a pastor, I was a banker. It gave me an open door to speak to all kinds of people, about all kinds of topics in all kinds of settings. But as pastor, in those same environments, I am shut down. It is a very interesting dynamic.
Last week, we, at Valley Christian Center, hosted the Ministers Fellowship International (MFI) Southwest Regional Conference. There we 20+ pastors and wives in Las Vegas, to build relationships and be ministered to themselves. These were amazing men and women. They ranged from pastors of start up churches to churches in existence for decades; from small in size and cash flow to large in both; from senior pastors to support pastors and everywhere in between. There was two unifying factors that brought us together: We all love Jesus and desire to surround ourselves with people who are passionate for Him.
This was my first opportunity to experience a group of pastors that are willing to be honest and talk about things in a real way; their frustrations, their hurts and their expectations. (We pastors have a tendency to paint a picture of our life as always rosy so as to cover any shortcomings personally or in our church.) Each pastor desired to take their church, their people and MFI to the next level. It was amazing. One thing that struck me was the pressing need each pastor had to make and have friends that understood the unique pressures and life of a pastor. It gave me a new perspective of my own pastor and taught me a few things. First, I am reminded of what my mother taught me growing up. She would say, “John, do you want friends? Then start being friendly.” And then she would use the verse in Proverbs 18:24,
“A man who has friends must himself be friendly…”
I hated it, because she made it sound so easy, but she (and God) was right. We all have things that isolate ourselves from other people, but if we are ever going to have friends, we have to step outside ourselves and our situations and become friendly people. This means being friendly to more people then just our current friends. We must be friendly to all people no matter how weird and off-putting they are.
The second thing I learned is I need to be quick to put into action what Paul wrote in Hebrews 13:7,
“Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.” (NIV)
You see, how we respond to our leaders will either give them joy or give them more of a burden as they function. This verse implies that leaders are going to have to give an account to God for how they lead and, therefore, a good leader has your best interests in mind as they lead you. It may not always feel that way and my own pride keeps me from listening to them when they have wisdom from God. However, if I believe, as the Bible states, God has placed them in authority over the local church and God placed me in that church then the natural assumption is that you are in the place that Paul is speaking about… “Submit to their authority”… This is not a blind submission, but instead is a faithful submission. It is as if you are saying, “I trust you are following God and as you follow Him, I will follow you.” As a pastor, it is amazingly motivating to be in covenant relationships with people who want to follow Christ at all costs. And as a partitioner, it is amazingly freeing to follow a pastor that humbly wants the best for me. It allows everyone to function properly in the place they were created to function. It allows others to be added to the body and creates an environment that fosters healing for the broken and lonely.
