This week is my wife’s birthday week. That’s right she gets a whole week! Why not? She is the mother of my son and a fantastic woman. Besides, our birthdays are so close and we share parties she loses some of the excitement of having her own day. So for this week’s post, I figured I would honor her by writing about her. (As my wife she should expect me to write about her, especially if it’s good).
We have been married for three and a half years. This week I was lying in bed after she had gone to sleep and I began to think of all of the amazing ways my life has changed since I met her. As I was thinking about all of that, I started to think about what lessons I have learned about being a Godly husband and that I have learned them because she exemplifies a godly wife. So here is what my wife has helped me to learn about being a godly husband.
1) The Husband is the Leader of the House.
Now before you jump all over me about how I hate women, and I want to keep them suppressed or barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, let me remind you, I learned this FROM MY WIFE. This was probably the first thing I learned from her. I am a lover not a fighter and my baseline reaction is I want everyone to be happy. (In fact I truly believe life is one big party). At first glance, this thought is really nice, however, if trying to make everyone happy prevents me from making a quality decision for fear of making someone unhappy, then I have failed at my job as Leader. God has created and positioned me to be the head of the house and to do this requires several things of me.
First, I must constantly seek God and His will for my family and my life. If I think I can lead perfectly all the time, then I am living a constant lie. God has ALL the answers and knowing Him and His character helps me to be able to caringly lead. Not through blind faith or reckless assuming His will, but through a close relationship with my Creator I become a man worth following.
Second, I must love and respect my wife. She is the key to my success as a good leader. I heard a quote one time that said, “Every good leader must be supported by good followers.” My relationship with my wife is not a “husband ruling over his wife” relationship. Instead it is a “husband lovingly and respectfully leading his wife as his wife lovingly and respectfully supports her husband” relationship. It is about positional authority. I don’t make my wife submit to my authority. She lovingly submits out of respect. If you know my wife, you know that statement is 100% accurate. She is a strong woman and often I think she is a better leader than I am and therefore, I have to work hard to be a leader worth following. If I get out of the way and surrender my God-given position as Leader to her, I know she could assume the lead easily. She knows it too, but her understanding of God and her love for me positions her under me rather than in competition with me.
2) Any Husband can be Romantic
Look up romance in the dictionary and you will find a definition almost as confusing as life itself. I am a romantic guy in nature, but my wife has helped me to be able to understand romance tangibly. Husbands get ready, here it comes. Romance is being creatively surprising with thoughtful words, gifts, and settings. That is a big definition with big implications. Romance requires purposeful thought and constant listening to your wife’s needs and desires. Some men think they aren’t romantic and their wife never tells them what she likes and enjoys. I have to respectfully disagree with them. More then likely the husband is not paying attention. Let me give you an example. My wife will tell you the most romantic present I have ever given her is not the roses (though I give them) or the Tiffany bracelet held by the custom-made Build-A-Bear she received on our wedding day. No, those pale in comparison to the level of romance I achieved with the most romantic gift. SHE will tell you the most romantic gift I have given was a deluxe, over-sized, quiet paper shredder. That’s right, a paper shredder. Why was it romantic? Because I listened to her when she complained that the paper shredder she was using was too small and too loud. Is that amazing or what? But, now, every time she uses it she remembers how thoughtful I am. Let me tell you, husbands, do this once and she will be amazed. Do it often and she will live her life of exuberant happiness and will be seen as a lucky woman.
3) Cheer Your Wife on to Success
My wife, like everyone, was created with passions and abilities that are unique to her and meant to accomplish God’s plan in her life. As a woman and a wife some of those passions and abilities are in direct competition with each other. As an example, passions for being a mother and being a working woman war inside her constantly. For her to have any relief from this war, requires that I help provide avenues for her to be successful at both. This is something I am still learning. I have an intelligently bright son. I know it is because of my wife’s hard work to nurture those things in him and without her, he would struggle to stay ahead in his development. So I encourage and cheer on her success as a mom. But if I don’t encourage her to keep enlarging her knowledge in other areas of life, her other passions will die off and go to waste. For her to have a full and prosperous life, it is a necessity for me to cheer on all the good things that God has put into her until she is successful. This will be a lifelong pursuit for me. One that I look forward to accomplishing.
This is not all I have learned from my wife and it’s not all that I could say about each of these things, but it is just a glimpse into how I live my life everyday. It is a blessing straight from God and the blessing is maintained through hard work and prayer from both my wife and me. I look forward to all the years we will have together and the lessons that each of us will learn through revelation from God and our relationship with each other. She is the embodiment of the Proverbs 31 virtuous wife. Proverbs 12:4 says, “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown…” She is my perfect crown.
Happy Birthday to my beautiful bride, AnnaMarie!
